T minus 2 days and counting...

Despite all of the early signs and all of Helen's attempts to speed things up (raspberry leaf tea, pineapple, spicy curry, walking and sex), Molly (97.3% chance it's Molly not Thomas and larger probability that it's Molly not Anna) is still not with us. The hospital will begin the process to induce her arrival at 7pm on New Year's Eve.

I have always loathed New Year celebrations with a passion. For the first time I have the perfect excuse not to participate.

Although I have done this twice before, it is Helen's first time. Nevertheless, I confess to being anxious as well as excited. It has been a long time coming. To be precise 5 and a half years, 7 miscarriages, numerous inconclusive tests and procedures, 2 subchorionic haemorrhages, 28 weeks of daily heparin injections and more tears and sleepless nights than you could ever shake a stick at.

The bag has been packed by the door for several weeks and the car seat is in. I still need to add a spare t-shirt for me in case we are there for a while and the camera and camcorder and no doubt a few extra things that Helen will think of at the last minute. The few extra things that I will think of will only be thought of several miles up the A413 on the way to the hospital.

Helen is huge. I have never seen such a large bump. Nor has anyone else who has seen it. You would not believe it is just one baby. However, having had scans every week from week 5 to week 15 and about a further 10 scans and various periods of monitoring since, it would be a pretty poor show if the 3 different hospitals that have scanned Helen's tummy had missed the extra baby or babies.

I knew that sex was recommended in the latter stages of pregnancy as a means of causing the cervix to thin in readiness for the birth and that this was something to do with the chemical constituents of semen. However, Helen tells me that while penetrative sex is effective in this regard, the chemical is even more effective when the semen is ingested. Now that piece of research has to have been undertaken and published by a man, it should also be widely disseminated (pardon the pun) to all men as quickly as possible ! One swallow may not make a summer, but it will apparently prepare your pregnant partner's cervix for birth. Obviously, the chemical should be ingested liberally and as frequently as possible.

Despite the time which is posted by the site (which is presumably US time) it is almost 1.17am on 29 December 2005. I guess I had better go to bed, there will be enough sleepless nights in the future.

Molly Sendall: coming soon to a maternity ward near us.

Watch this space...